#10 - Having A Blast with Drawing, Expanding My Next Album Project, A Streamer I really like - 26/05/2025
Maybe my hope of getting a bit of peace from the last blog post I wrote is happening, as things have simmered down since the absolute smorgasboard of bullshit a few days back. Just because it's simmered down however, does not mean that I find it in my heart to just forget all of what happened. As I said, when I am comfortable eventually, i'll discuss it. But the fact that there's people who genuinely want me to be okay in the end means a lot to me. As such, i've been feeling pretty mellow and happy the past two, three days.
The motivation and hope i've felt in these past days since the chaos at "home" have transferred over to the motivation I have for drawing. For those who might not be aware, especially the youtube side, i'm a pixelartist of six, nearly seven years! I've gotten pretty great at it and I consider myself great at it, but I especially feel so with the commissions and my personal work that i've been working on lately. I've got this really cute comm i've been working on for a bit where it's a cafe scene, and then i've got an expansive, experimental piece with my OC, Gambit! Then there's a piece involving one of my partners's characters, Noxe, in a shootout~ I'm really excited for these pieces, and I cant wait to just get these fully done and rendered. Drawing makes me really happy; it feels so good to draw things that are in my mind, that I can "see" within my imagination, lessening the gap between what I imagine and how I translate it onto a digital canvas or file. Drawing is a good stress outlet for me, and I feel i've genuinely come so far with my style and how I do things. Hell, I updated the picture of Patchblob on the front page of the blog lately and I find the changes I've made to his design to be fantastic - giving him an actual set of irises rather than the black voids he's had since his inception back in April 2019 feels right. It's little things like these and the pieces that I'm working on lately that make me really happy. Being commissioned for this stuff too and doing commissions is always really fun as well. I'm always so inspired with what I see in the world and the artists I look up to and adore in terms of their art - I learn through studying anatomy, looking at art I like, and then being inspired from such things. Makes me happy!
On the topic of art, or moreso music, I'm expanding my next big music project! I finished it (sans the artwork, which comes from an external source and i'm waiting on - it looks amazing btw!!) a week or so ago, but i've decided to expand the album with more tracks. I feel that it's right, given that the album is taking time, and that I have the itch to produce more. FL Studio is a whole different beast compared to LMMS, but i've been learning, and I feel very happy with how i'm learning. FL Studio is more complex and there's a lot to learn about it, but I've adapted well so far and I'm just making things I really like. Taking a leap of faith in switching to new music software after using LMMS for what's nearly half a decade now feels right to me - If I want to improve, I must experiment, I must take these leaps of faith to evolve and learn more. Wisdom is something to gain over time, I feel. Though I'm not sure if I'd say im wise? Anyway haha, the album's taking time, but im looking forward to producing and finalising things! The fact that the initial response to the album when I sent it to friends was positive and happy that I'm experimenting so much means so much to me, yknow. Being on call with said friends feels soothing as well - I used to feel really awkward and nervous around friends because I never felt properly like I fit in, especially when I was much younger, so I feel a bit blessed to feel so comfortable now.
Currently, I'm listening in and tabbing over to an artist I really like, who's streaming. Their name is fourleafisland and they've been a huge inspiration to me for ages now! Their stuff just has such an electric, comfy, gorgeously rendered feel to it. The way they draw and do colours makes me smile, it's just nostalgic in all the right ways and I really like being able to just listen in and watch their process. I learn through observation, and observing their work is something I really like to do. I'll be watching their process more as time passes, as I want to learn from someone I respect .
I should get some ref sheets done for my characters tbh. Mectemecia needs one, Tesseline, Gambit, Alkahest and Utokanie also need one. In time, i'll get to it~