#49 - Possible Change in the Air, Flash Games Video, Nearly One Year Since This Blog Began - 06/04/2026
First blogpost of april and I'm already quite tired. To day the past six days have been a lot is silly. No, it's not been a lot, it's been tiresome. But I'm alive which is good. And I continue to keep going at what I do. I can't say anything too much just yet, but there may be change in the air for me soon, and I'm really hoping that this change will mean something good for me in the future. I want to, ideally, get out of the stress inducing circumstances I live in currently. And there may be a ticket out of it coming soon - it all depends. See, I won't say anything too much, but the reason why one person who stresses me out IS the way they are (other than some unchecked ego but I unfortunately have a little bit of it too) is because of the other blithering idiot they live with. So remove the blithering idiot from the equation and...suddenly, it's peace. At least, that's the hope, the aim. A new, fresh start somewhere else would be lovely to be honest, even if daunting and terrifying. But at the same time, I got my first ever proper paid job last year and despite what happened in the end, I was damn good at handling it for a while. Change is scary. It's good, though, in the grand scheme of things. So I HOPE, really hope, that things pan out okay.
Other than this...NEW CRT DREAMS LATELY!!! Yeah, at long last, Flash Games Were My Childhood is out, you can watch it here! I'm so deeply flattered by the response this video got and the fact that people really enjoyed it, yknow? And hell, even in it's stats, it's doing really well. I consider 1000 views to be a good marker for "success" in that regard but also even having a quarter of the total number of subscribers is a seriously good feat. I dont really hyperfocus on viewercount or subscription count much, at the end of the day, CRT Dreams is a thing I enjoy doing and making and the fact that I have the ability to earn a tiny bit from it now is nice as well. But it's still the dream to eventually open up a patreon to make it so that I can make a life out of doing this. Which, in addition to the motivating force that's been how positively this video has been in terms of it's feedback, is why I feel emboldened to start work on the next video, which I believe will be about Killer7! I have a concept in mind for it and I want this one to be a much shorter video this time - nothing wrong with the length of the Flash Games video, but I didnt expect it to end up being over an hour in length. I mean, long videos serve me well for a few reasons but I've missed the original length of stuff like my first crt dreams videos. But I prefer how I make them now. Still, the Killer7 video idea I have does involve a bit more frenetic editing, or I at least hope there can be more to it in that department. Generally, i'm going to be working on more video scrips so that I can basically just output more videos Im super passionate about at a reasonable rate that feels right. Not trying to mass produce them, but to essentially make it so people aren't waiting for me for over nine months for a video. That kind of thing really sucks for viewers and me because we both want the same thing: banger videos, yknow?
Speaking of time...nearly been a year since I started this blog. It's funny to think how much time has passed between then and now. I didnt expect to really keep this blog going, admittedly - not that I was gonna delete it, I dont intend to EVER delete it, but i'm not good at holding long term habits at all. Like, I tried to learn to code once and use RPGmaker...and the next week, I just stopped trying. Mind, that was over six years ago, but still. My point is that im not good at holding up habits, so holding up this one means it's something particularly special imo. It's been helpful, to have this blog and I wont lie, I just enjoy the fact that I have it. Giving people further inside into my thought process and documenting my life is nice really. Ill talk more on it on the year since i've actually made this blog, leave those extended thoughts for then.
I hope for that change I mentioned. It's time that I get a breather.