#64 - A New Path Ahead, Second MancFurs Experience and Costume Upgrades, October Vibes, CRT Dreams Progress! - 17/10/2026
I've had a lot to talk about for some time.
Truthfully, there's a few reasons why i've been so slow. The first is that my life is still quite busy, so it means that the little things are things that I generally come back to when I finally have some breathing space. The second, is that things have been changing quite a bit, so it means that when I think I have something consistent to note here, suddenly there's a chance which makes it redundant to yap about. And the third reason...is that I forget sometimes haha. But, i'm here! There's a lot to discuss.
Things are changing within my personal life. Aside from the wonderful changes that have been occurring lately thanks to the close-knit nature of my friends, i'm pursuing a new career path. And there's a good reason why. In short, folks, I've evolved, lately. Recently, I incurred the nuclear wrath of someone who, really, I expected better from - my living situation is still unstable, still strange, so I had that held over my head as a taunt alongside generally nasty insults directed my way for the apparent crime of being helpful to another person and apparently "not helping" the person I was living with. Then, recently, the same, but with my refusal to allow that said other person rewrite my personal history while trying to flex their trauma as if it's a competition. While in the past, i'd find these incredibly distressing, these instances...
I let it wash over me, like noise. I no longer find myself being personally hurt, hung up, strangle-hold by these sort of immature mannerisms from someone who's 40 years my senior. And it's motivated me to consider my future, my career path. In my recently finished counselling sessions, which went wonderfully, my counsellor said to me that I have the tact and emotional intelligence to be able to help others, to understand and be patient. And usually, while i'd be somewhat sceptical of these sorts of comments...I believe she had a point. All my life, i've been helping others, and while the majority of those times have been under duress, there's been instances in which I always just want to help others. There is some kind of fulfilment I feel when doing so. So, I made a decision lately - I want to become a counsellor, a legally certified one, to be able to help others like I have been helped and on a professional level, to do some net good within this world. I am no longer willing to stagnate like how my own parents, and their family before, have decided to, to judge and hate the world and others as if they somehow are above everyone else. I am a different person than the origin point I came from - I refuse to live so stagnant, to make so little use of my life, to do nothing. And truthfully, I am done thinking about the past, I am only moving forward from here. I have let go of my demons and I simply move onward with things.
So I want to be a net positive in the world, do right by others, and become a certified counsellor who can do good. It's not only a great career path, but, there's always jobs for this stuff, and while I am not too focused on pay aspect, these sorts of jobs are great for that. So, it's also my path out of my current circumstances, meaning that between this and the stuff I do between, I can work on getting out and having a place to myself. The stuff with the homelessness back in April and living where I do now has helped me to understand that I ultimately just prefer the freedom and fun of my own company in a living space. I can see that having an exception in the form of my two boyfriends, my hubbies, because they treat me with dignity and kindness~ But family? No. So, this is my way out too, and I am going to do some good in the world as well. I want to become a counsellor, and I absolutely am gonna lock in~ If all goes well, ill start free studying at my nearby college for 3 months, and then the rest is history~
Now, what of my life other than this?
I went to MancFurs again~! It was a lovely experience just like last time, honestly, and it was even better I feel. For one, because I wasnt as nervous, I got to just vibe with everyone! Being able to be someone else, patchblob, for a brief time, is satisfying. And, hell, we even got to go on the fursuit walk this time, which was wonderful! We promptly got drenched lmao thanks to sudden rain, but all the photos and complimenting people's partials and suits alongside just being around likeminded people feels really nice, honest to god really nice. I've come to find myself fond of my whole kig-partial, not that I wasnt before, but, I really put a lot of effort into it and I'm happy. It looks good on photos~ But yeah! I had a comfy as hell time, and im going back next month too! I've ordered myself a chest-to-neck collar piece of white faux fur to add to my whole fit, make myself even more furry, and Im intending on getting a con-badge with Patchblob and my name (pachiimochii) on it. Wondering about changing the ears too. And it's early days, but, I am planning to get a big tail too! While I cant afford a fursuit or anything like this, I might as well become crafty and resourceful. And yknow what? Digging into the crafting side of things is legit giving me experience to do more, and with the tail, i'd also have to learn how to sew. If this had been years ago, i'd have detested the idea but, hey, why not? What's the harm in trying? None, so Im gonna try~ Be it this month as pre-production and then next month as actually doing it, I feel. So, im gonna be even furrier for November~
October has been a nice vibe, outside of the stuff that's been a little stressful lately with the unwarranted nuclear anger, and i've been enjoying the month. It's nice to be able to feel the world change, to feel the nights become colder, to be somewhere warm and cosy. Even with the recent things like what I mentioned with the stuff i've put up with, I am stil enjoying the season. And Im working on things like my yearly deltarune piece with good pace, same goes for comms. I generally just like the coldness and how soothing the cold is. I've said it before, but, the cold hitting my lungs and prickling my skin, the way my body heats up, the way my breath fogs up, it's all mementos of the autumn season that I enjoy immensely and appreciate. I think appreciating the little nuances of existence is healthy, and, for someone who likes the sensory aspects of it all, not even just due to being autistic, I love this season as such. I know it's only going to get colder from here, and I cant wait~
Been a bit since I discussed CRT Dreams, hasnt it?
Yeah, but! I am working on it. Next video, about my comic con experience back in the summer, is halfway done! After that? A deltarune chapter 5 video about my thoughts on it at the time. And then next year? SAPARi Video 2, and Sonic Xtreme - LSD Dream Emulator video is after that. I've decided that this will be my structure, as I want to be more organised and I believe that I can achieve these things. But honestly, if I keep going with the current pace of things for this comic con experience video, I can easily just get this video done before october ends. So, that's my objective~
All in all, my life has become a lot more busy. But I am happy with that, and I honestly believe in myself to achieve what I am after. I know I can have a good life, and I WILL have a good life. Because I deserve it, and because I know I can work hard to achieve it.
I got this~ <3